|  Author | Topic: hunting (Read 500 times) |
Big Rambo
Guest
|  | hunting
« Thread Started on Oct 22, 2006, 3:50pm » | |
Dino,
I am at my wits end.
A few weeks back, I got involved with some people from the TA in a drinking binge.
To cut a long story short, we ended up scaling fences and running through my estate through all the gardens.
Anyway, in a fit of stupidity I came across a clothes line with lots and lots of skimpy undrwear, and I happen to know the very *friendly* person that lives there.. (she would get it all shapes ), so I am ashamed to say, I took all the knickers.
As if that isnt bad enough, I now masturbate regulary with them on my head, and I am really into it.
I am worried this is going too far, though.
Last Tuesday, I went around the garden and I could see her cooking in the kitchen, the dirty pregnant dog.
She seen me I think, but she could never have recognised me as I had her black thong stretched over my face.
What do you think I should do? Either I can just hang them back up on her line some night, or post them, or just keep them and throp away to my hearts content, - besides its healthy isnt it?
Thanks
Rambo.
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ComberTNC
Administrator
member is offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Gender: Male 
Posts: 66
Karma: 0 | | Re: hunting
« Reply #1 on Oct 26, 2006, 4:12pm » | |
Uncle Dino will reply to you soon Big Rambo
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Big Rambo
Guest
| | Re: hunting
« Reply #2 on Nov 27, 2006, 5:35pm » | |
Dino,
Its happened again, and this time its worse.
I had way too much to drink on Sat, and then on Sunday what with the football on tv and all, I got well hammered.
Anyway I woke up this morning for work, and found myself lying on the bathroom floor surrounded by not only the entire collection of knickers from before, but another tranche, and they were for, - lets say, a larger lady.
I think I know who owns them, but I am not sure. I even took some socks this time, and I am now getting a great kick out of putting the knickers on my head, and then thropping one off into the socks, - especially the nylon ones.
Do you think I should stop?
I am worried it may escalate further and I could get arrested.
If I dont get some advice, I am going to leave them at the church car park for the boot sale every saturday, and maybe move to Carrick to get away from the temptation.
Am I over reacting?
Big Rambo.
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uncledino
New Member
member is offline
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1
Karma: 0 | | Re: hunting
« Reply #3 on Dec 12, 2006, 1:40pm » | |
Big Rambo
First things first just calm yourself down. The main thing is not to panic in a situation like this. I get 100's of problems every week and it is not the 1st time i have come across a problem like this infact it is quite common nowadays.
I understand that you feel you have fallen into a trap and cant get out of it and that the temptation is always going to be there whenever you have had a few drinks to go out and do what we call nowadys knicker knacking! Trust me the temptation will go away i have met many men who have been in this situation and thought there was no way out and have now moved on and have even got themselves a job and believe it or believe it not even with the Ulster bank!!
Can i suggest that the next few months are crucial for you and what you need to do is be around close freinds over the christmas and when drinking think off other things apart from ladies underwear. Focus on something else for example like cute puppies or angels floating on the clouds.
If this doesnt work for you the best thing you can do is to make sure you have Hollyoaks omnibus or Babecast on the TV when you have the knickers on your head and are thropping off into the nylon soaks!! Trust me from what ive heard its the way forward!!
So to conclude Rambo dont panic, be around friends, think of other things and if no use tune into channel on a Sunday morning!!
Remember check yourself dont wreck yourself!!
Uncle Dino
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Big Rambo
Guest
| | Re: hunting
« Reply #4 on Dec 13, 2006, 1:00pm » | |
Dino,
Thanks for that, but now I am really in big trouble.
A few years back I was in the far east, and there was this one girl who I was with for a while, and she was into all sorts of things.
Without being too crude, she had these beads. Well, she persuaded me one night to try them, and she stuck 27 of them up my hole.
When I was coming she ripped them out, and I have to admit, it was something else altogether.
Anyway, it got me thinking the other weekend, about it, what with the knickers and socks thing, and my fears about things escalating were justified.
I now not only use the big knickers and socks, but I have a dog lead, and its covered in studs, but it does the job just as well, in fact - if I am honest, its even better than the beads.
It hurt at first, but I am beginning to get used to it.
Here is the problem; my dog doesnt want to go out for a walk anymore, I think it can smell something is up, if you know what I mean....
Thank f*** he cant speak or I would be in prison.
Whats next? Can I meet with you and discuss this in private? Will you promise you wont laugh?
I dont know who else to turn to, I called the Samaritans and the guy on the other end of the line couldnt stop laughing, and then put me on the speakerphone...the Bast***.
Help.
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Big Rambo
Guest
| | weirdo dog
« Reply #5 on Jan 29, 2007, 11:08am » | |
Dino, I dont know where to start.
The weekend was a nightmare, I have never been so humiliated and embarrassed in my life, but felt I had to get it out into the open and tell someone. ( please keep this quiet between us ).
Well, I got hammered on Sunday as usual with all the footy on the tv etc, and ended up home quite late and my girl was in bed, all picture, no sound. So I recalled a very interesting conversation with a friend in the bar, who told me (after a few drinks) that having sex with liver in a jam jar, is nothing compared to a can of dog food. I laughed at first, but after he explained this to me in detail it really made sense. What you do is get a can of pedigree Chum, open the lid, and place the can in a saucepan of boiling water. The scoop out a couple of tea sthingys, and get the knob in and hammer away. Well I thought I would give it a bash. So I got myself ready; nylon sock, the dog lead and them big knickers all ready. I felt sorry for my dog, he got all excited cos he thought he was first getting fed, then going for a walk. The truth (as he found out to his dismay) was he was getting neither. So I had a good session with the dog food, and I must say it works well, cos there is a vaccumm in the can when you whack it in. Brilliant.
So far so good. Next thing I know I am having a great dream, some bird licking my rod, and then I woke up. I pulled them big knickers to the side, and there was my dog licking away on my dog food smeared weapon, and my girl standing, hands on hips with a very red face.
Well, she went mental. She has now left me and has threatened to go to the newspapers and tv and tell them about me. (I would be ruined if she did, as I am involved in football teams and the church).
The pregnant dog wants 2 grand a month to keep quiet. Do you know if I have done anything illegal, and if so, have you any idea what the punishment would be? Do you think I could get her shot by someone for a few crates of lager?
I am even more worried about my dog. Between you and me, I think he is a 'weirdo dog'. I mean, I can understand he was hungry and the dog food attraction, but lately he has been acting really strange. The past two or three times when I have been at the wanking, everytime I open my eyes he is sitting a few inches from my face looking intently into my eyes, with his head thingyed to one side. I suppose I admit, I might look a bit odd to him with his dog lead up my arse, them big knickers on my head, and a sock over my thingy, but I dont think this is acceptable behaviour for a household pet. If he doesnt buck up his ideas, I am thinking about getting him done in.
I think I need to get myself a lawyer and get some advice, but I am afraid they will laugh and tell others. (Especially those magistrates, cos I know they are well weird, even worse than me the things they get up to).
I was thinking maybe I could call a vet, and ask him about some counselling for my dog, or maybe I could buy him a video? Some hypnotherapy or something. He still wont look me in the eye. Only when I am having some relief with the gear, or if he is doing number twos, he stares at me. It is quite unnerving.
My world is crumbling. I have lost my girl, my dog is a voyeur, and my reputation is at great risk.
I am crying now as I write this. It isnt funny.
Maybe I will end it all.
Big Rambo. 
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Big Rambo
Guest
| | weirdo dog
« Reply #6 on Jan 29, 2007, 11:12am » | |
Dino, I dont know where to start.
The weekend was a nightmare, I have never been so humiliated and embarrassed in my life, but felt I had to get it out into the open and tell someone. ( please keep this quiet between us ).
Well, I got hammered on Sunday as usual with all the footy on the tv etc, and ended up home quite late and my girl was in bed, all picture, no sound. So I recalled a very interesting conversation with a friend in the bar, who told me (after a few drinks) that having sex with liver in a jam jar, is nothing compared to a can of dog food. I laughed at first, but after he explained this to me in detail it really made sense. What you do is get a can of pedigree Chum, open the lid, and place the can in a saucepan of boiling water. The scoop out a couple of scoops, and get the knob in and hammer away. Well I thought I would give it a bash. So I got myself ready; nylon sock, the dog lead and them big knickers all ready. I felt sorry for my dog, he got all excited cos he thought he was first getting fed, then going for a walk. The truth (as he found out to his dismay) was he was getting neither. So I had a good session with the dog food, and I must say it works well, cos there is a vaccumm in the can when you whack it in. Brilliant.
So far so good. Next thing I know I am having a great dream, some bird licking my rod, and then I woke up. I pulled them big knickers to the side, and there was my dog licking away on my dog food smeared weapon, and my girl standing, hands on hips with a very red face.
Well, she went mental. She has now left me and has threatened to go to the newspapers and tv and tell them about me. (I would be ruined if she did, as I am involved in football teams and the church).
The bitc* wants 2 grand a month to keep quiet. Do you know if I have done anything illegal, and if so, have you any idea what the punishment would be? Do you think I could get her shot by someone for a few crates of lager?
I am even more worried about my dog. Between you and me, I think he is a 'weirdo dog'. I mean, I can understand he was hungry and the dog food attraction, but lately he has been acting really strange. The past two or three times when I have been at the wanking, everytime I open my eyes he is sitting a few inches from my face looking intently into my eyes, with his head thingyed to one side. I suppose I admit, I might look a bit odd to him with his dog lead up my arse, them big knickers on my head, and a sock over my root, but I dont think this is acceptable behaviour for a household pet. If he doesnt buck up his ideas, I am thinking about getting him done in.
I think I need to get myself a lawyer and get some advice, but I am afraid they will laugh and tell others. (Especially those magistrates, cos I know they are well weird, even worse than me the things they get up to).
I was thinking maybe I could call a vet, and ask him about some counselling for my dog, or maybe I could buy him a video? Some hypnotherapy or something. He still wont look me in the eye. Only when I am having some relief with the gear, or if he is doing number twos, he stares at me. It is quite unnerving.
My world is crumbling. I have lost my girl, my dog is a voyeur, and my reputation is at great risk.
I am crying now as I write this. It isnt funny.
Maybe I will end it all.
Big Rambo.
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inky69
New Member
member is offline
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 23
Karma: 0 | | Re: hunting
« Reply #7 on Jan 30, 2007, 10:30pm » | |
your my type of guy..we should get together some sat night..oh..and bring ur dog... 
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big rambo
Guest
| | Re: hunting
« Reply #8 on Jan 31, 2007, 11:05am » | |
Its not funny.
I am a ruined man.....
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ComberTNC
Administrator
member is offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
Karma: 0 | | Re: hunting
« Reply #9 on Jan 31, 2007, 1:36pm » | |
Be brave Rambo. If anyone has a go at you, just remind them you're originally from Comber and you will wear big knickers on your head if you want to!!
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inky69
New Member
member is offline
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 23
Karma: 0 | | Re: hunting
« Reply #10 on Jan 31, 2007, 7:43pm » | |
Quote:
Its not funny.
I am a ruined man.....
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im sure u are m8..them dog leads are sore..not that i have tried them.  .
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